Being without the Internet for two days last week has shown me three things that I reluctantly admit about my life at work: 1) I’m REALLY good at Tetris, 2) I spend way too much time on YouTube and 3) Even at my job I love so much, I can get bored pretty easily.

Television is the last place I would expect to find life lessons, especially from the clever sitcom known as “Everybody Loves Raymond.” Like “Alias” I am enjoying the show post-broadcast through syndication and DVD and the last couple of episodes have caused me to do some introspection regarding my self-centered nature, the need for others approval as well as other things that I find relating very closely to the main character, Ray Barone. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Good that I’m learning tough lessons about my human nature, bad that they are coming from the same network that brings me David Caruso from CSI: Miami.

Questions that have been plaguing me for the past few days.
1) Why does every hip-hop video HAVE to be “feature” someone in addition to the actual artist performing. I mean come on, do we really need Diddy making those strange grunts and running to and from the camera in Jay-Z’s latest video?
2) Why is it so much easier to fall asleep on the couch than it is in our beds? I asked this question last night and the only logical explanation seems to be that because we intend on going to sleep in our beds we subconsciously fight it, as opposed to the couch which is a source of couch plopping and sunday napping while watching various programming such as NASCAR.

One of the popular slogans at the OG (Olive Garden) has been “When you’re here, you’re family.” I’d have to give that same slogan to the house church I go to on Tuesday nights. Rarely during my week do i get the chance to be with a group of people whose common element is the love of Jesus Christ and in such an intimate setting where He just comes in and lets us soak Him up through His Word, worship and the taking of the Eucharist. Its a place I feel unified in my thinking, in my passions as well as my desire to grow spiritually. So much love to anyone reading this who is a part of the body known as DCC. You guys encourage me big time.

Last night I went to celebrate my friend’s 31st….i mean 29th birthday with a get together at a friends house. Seeing as how it was a BYOM (Bring your own meat) kind of shindig, I thought it fitting to provide myself with a nice juicy steak. I was the only one who thought this would be fitting and there was a period of awkwardness as i slashed in to this juicy medium cooked delight, feeling as though I was being nutritionally condemned for not partaking in the other ‘standards’ for BYOMs, those being chicken, fish, or porkchops; i.e. things that don’t require a big honkin steak knife and vampire teeth to enjoy. Despite my paranoia, i did enjoy most of it and passed off what i couldn’t finish to my buddy Kyle who, without any hesitation, proceeded to devour the rest using no utensils whatsoever. You’re a better man than me bro.

No party is complete without the obligatory interactive boardgame, and this night was no different. We partook in a little game known as ‘imagineIff’ where a card is read in reference to one of the participants and every other person has to see if they can guess which choice that person would pick. I’ll use myself as an example. If Patch were a member of the Royal family, who would he be…..1)Princess Diana, 2)Ferge, 3)Queen Mother….you get the idea…of the six possible answers to this particular question, I was chosen to be Queen Mother. I have no idea why but it made for a good laugh and that is, of course, the main reason for playing such silly games, aside from the more obvious: actually winning the game.

Facts about me RIGHT NOW:
1. I recently tasted “Phillapino Corn Chips,” which have the crunch of Fritos but the exact taste of actual corn. Weirdness in my mouth to say the least.

2. I have been craving twinkies for about a week now and found out today that there is a Hostess ‘outlet’ store. It will be mine soon. Oh yes. It will be mine.

3. I think i am coming down with something along the veins of a cold. The stuffy nose and sore throat are there, and fatigue is fast approaching. CRAP!!

This weekend I was hanging out with a friend of mine, having pizza and being entertained with Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (the jury is still out on whether or not I liked this film). As I left I was given a copy of the first season of Alias, created by JJ Abrams (Lost) and starring Jennifer Garner (found hehe). I had one question upon finishing the series premiere episode: Where was I when this jewel of a show was on the air? I must have been under a rock contemplating the meaning of life (or why i was under a rock) because this show is phenomenal. From the storyline to the characters (i have a fit of the giggles everytime Marshall does his thing) to the soundtrack. Heck even the opening credits are fantastic. Its an addiction that needs to be fixed even as I type this.

My family had dinner at the OG (Olive Garden for all you non slang using folks) last night in honor of my moms birthday (she didn’t know my brother, sis-in-law and myself were going to be there so it was a nice surprise). Among the many conversations had, my brother mentioned that he was taking up the hobby of Aquariums. I never knew this was a hobby but with all the information he was feeding me from the differrent types of aquariums, salt water vs fresh water, and the expense of it, it sounded pretty legitimate. He says he and his wife need some ‘around the house’ activities to keep them busy. Go for it guys.

2010 will mark the beginning of my 31st year being alive on this earth, and to celebrate, i have decided that i want to go to the Winter Olympics, being held in Vancouver, Canada. I missed Salt Lake and Atlanta and I have a feeling the greatest games on the planet won’t be coming to a country near me anytime soon after this. So i have started a campaign to begin to save money, make plans, and get my olympic loving booty up north for at least a week. Wish me luck.

I have a theory that has been in development since the first time I went somewhere and had to wait, be it a doctor’s office, a hair salon (yes i said salon), or any other place where your appointment is usually delayed by at least half an hour….or maybe not. You see, most places have the courtesy magazines, televisions, and even children’s toys (which by the way are not nearly as cool as the ones i had when i was that age, whatever age you are thinking) for the customer to enjoy while he/she is waiting for their ‘latest hairstyle’ or root canal, or to get their nails ‘did.’ And as much as I appreciate these little trinkets that give me the visual stimulus I need to get me through the awkward waiting period, they never seem to make the time go faster. Here’s where my theory comes in.

I find that when I bring my own reading material, specifically something that I am really intrigued by and can’t seem to put down, my wait time has never been more than five minutes. Because this was such a crazy phenomenon to me, I decided to do a little experiment. I went to three different places three times: The doctor’s office, the salon, and the airport, with two different items: A novel I was currently reading, and a magazine that i picked up from my house. The control group was not taking anything at all and using one of the visual stimuli at each.

I found that the magazine had no effect on any of the wait times (average wait time was 10 minutes) at any of the destinations. The novel, however, decreased my wait time at both the doctor’s office and the hair salon to an average of three minutes at both, but actually increased at the airport when i was waiting for a friend.

The control group produced an average of 9.75 minutes wait time.

What I realized is that when the wait time applies to myself and when I have a novel in hand, I better my chances of getting my Hep A and B shots or my perm more quickly

SO, all that being said, the next time you head in to get drugged up or dooded up, make sure you have a real page turner with ya.

And let your friend get a cab from the airport.

As one who considers himself anal, I like to create rules in my life to help keep things ‘in their place.’

One of these rules is the categorical placement for certain snack treats at different entertainment venues (Sporting events, concerts, carnivals, etc). And while there are several snacks that are universal to all facets of these gala events, I must hold true to the idea that specific events call for specific delicacies. I will dispense with my list below. There will be three categories: Required, Acceptable, Unacceptable. You may or may not agree with me on these, and that’s ok. I have learned to accept the fact that most people are wrong and I am right…:)

The rules are as follows:

Baseball/Football/Basketball Games:
Required: Nachos, Cokes, Hot Dogs, Peanuts, Cracker Jacks, Beer
Acceptable: Pickles, Ice Cream, Candy
Unacceptable: Popcorn

The Movies:
Required: Popcorn, Cokes, Candy
Acceptable: Nachos (although this is borderline unacceptable but i tried them at a theater once and was pleased), Pickles
Unacceptable: Hot Dogs, Lemonade, Water

Carnivals/Theme Parks:
Required: Anything fried and sweet (this includes but is not limited to Funnel Cake, Fried Twinkies, Corn Dogs, Chicken Legs and Cotton Candy), Soft Drinks, Water
Acceptable: Pickles, Burgers, Onion Rings, French Fries, Beer
Unacceptable: none that i can think of

Concerts
Required: BEER BEER BEER
I have chosen not to make any snack placements in the ‘acceptable’ or ‘unacceptable’ categories due to the fact that concerts tend to be a weird beast. The audience is watching an event (like at a movie) but there is also a lot of participation physically and auiditorially (as with a ballgame). I, myself have had both a coke and a funnel cake at the last concert i was at, but it just didn’t feel right. I will leave this category up to you, the reader to add to or take away from as you see fit.